When looking through the prism of infidelity all behaviors are inherently congruent──the offenders tend to live in, and for the moments. The players (no point intended) often find the allure of, clandestine, affairs enigmatic and obstreperous. Hey, the more chaotic and out of control the infidelity—the deeper and more regal the hunt for the alleged and elusive passion, or rather…”the fix”. This mixture is often as toxic as it is intoxicating: with the latter the usual victor.
The gravest misconception, by polite societies, is that lover’s who enter into these unions turn to one another out of childish indignations. Nothing──and I mean nothing could be further from the truth! Most often, an estranged husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or fiancée’ will turn to one another for everything and anything that is essentially missing from their lives intellectually, socially, and of course physically. The convictions and core values of the lovers are no match for the “laws of attraction”. This is why most who commit adultery and infidelity on, above, and beyond this level feed off the mental and emotional rush from their tryst…like primal animals. The conspirators will express that these impulses are simply their mental and emotional salvation…thus becoming indeed, in their peculiar psyche, one of “life’s such needful things”!
That said—I am often reminded of a couple, dear to me long ago; who were well nestled deep within the South Georgia suburb of McDonough. This couple was two desperate souls: unhappy, unloved, and disenchanted by their lives (both inherently oblivious to the other). The gentleman nor the lady were, mentally, aware of just how seriously they were “leading lives of quiet desperations”. One “an Officer and a Gentleman,” of sorts. A Colonel in the United States Army Reserve: stationed in Atlanta on active duty status. “An Officer and Gentleman” destined for military greatness, that is! The distinguished gent was no ordinary officer: a man of honor, grace, and impeccable integrity who served four tours in the Middle East. The last of what many other inferior and younger officers called “THE NOTORIOUS FROZEN MIDDLE”: because officers of his caliber were immovable! Frozen Middle to them…pure unadulterated selfless heroes to their countrymen, and grateful nation!
His humble demeanor fooled those on the outside looking in, very covertly. Make no mistake about it this particular Officer was an “old iron horse” those close to him knew it best! The Colonel existed daily to serve his country to the fullest of his capability…”no if’s, and’s, or but’s. However, his torment and longing was never worn on his face for the world. As with many men of honor he hid his personal angst and yearning away for the world—literally to his own detriment. The Officer suffered the most severe headache, and health issues, but shut them down when in front of the world. This was just his way: but the dedicated service to his country was coming at the too high and too grave of a cost physically and mentally!
Financially, however, all things were to the contrary concerning the officer’s personal economy───the, then light Colonel, who at that time would later ascend to “Full Bird Colonel” status, was a man of extraordinary means (soft millionaire). However, he had the wherewithal not to be a conceited bastard about the reality of his of his wealth. In his eyes, the more surreptitious he could be about his station in life the better──acknowledgement of this fact to those less fortunate would have been in very, very, bad taste. Being a man of strong conservative and old south values, he would never crossed those lines outwardly—it was always honor first…and always!
However—in reality— to some degree within him was a shy amount of disdain for those who station in life was less prestigious: of course, due to lack of his or her personal economic integrity. The southern gent may have come from somewhat humble means; however, he developed a strong distaste for those who felt entitled to ‘handouts” or monies not earned through hard work, and self determination: kind of an economic “existentialist” in a way──or so he thought!
Little could he have foreseen that the infidelities which were to come would challenge all of the above ideals? Nonetheless, the “quiet desperation” within him, of which I speak, was not enough of a deterrent for him to avert a personal economic calamity and collision with the love interest of his choice. It is believed by many in the couple’s tight and quite gregarious circle that the lady of his, soon to be, obsession dropped into his “LZ….landing zone” faster that a stealth bomber—and she radioed in on his radar…that she was coming in “hot”—you gotta be one of the brethren to understand the delight and peril of that! Still—The Colonel was no lightweight, challenges, obstacles, and intrigue was not only his business—but a way of life! Lord—this man didn’t have a clue of what was dropping out of the sky into his “LZ” (landing zone)…seriously! This woman was far from a dalliance or intrigue—she was pure unadulterated, enigmatic, and intellectual sensual stimulation! A better interpretation—the two were a high speed monorail of destruction that fed an odd type of “libertinism”—the likes of which their social circle and loved ones had never witnessed in all their born days! Good, bad, or indifferent the two star-crossed lovers clung to it like a toddler to his “baby blanket”.
If the truth were to be known──before he met his lifelong antagonist…his, military obligation was his escape and his salvation. His marriage and home life was loveless, chaotic, and an utter “bain of his existence.” However, not once did he neglect to perform his duties as a husband and father without responsibility, graciousness, and honor: southern gents seem to have this way about them──the officer and gentleman was no exception to this rule. It was sort of a “good ole boy” way of life. Unfortunately, by early 2008 the ‘quiet desperation” within this, hardened spirit of a “Patriot and Gentleman”, could no longer remain dormant──this emotion had to manifest itself in a very ardent and tempest manner. Unfortunately more forcefully magnetic “forces of nature” propelled the emotionally and mentally forlorn Officer to break with his own “core values,” and subconscious──he had to seek out his happiness, at any cost! He could no longer sustain the sadness and loneliness: which had lain dormant within him for so many years. The hour of change slipped upon the dismayed officer before he himself could have had a real clue of how to avert the oncoming calamity—“so goes life”…as they say.
As a soldier, on the edge emotionally, whatever measures he would undertake to make the changes within his life were destined to be drastic ones…”come hell or high water”! One thing about this quiet and unassuming gentlemen──when he embarked upon a mission he never stopped until the soldier within him successfully completed its mission: be it professional or personal. This guy was a true “maverick”: in every sense of the word! The lonely Colonel would be alone and lonely no more. The once hunted…now became the hunter of sorts! Metro Atlanta became his own personal “hunger games”──discernment aside──the hunt was now on! There seem to exist this certain something deep within the Officer that propelled him to ascertain a filler for the agonizing void, or rather gaping hole, in his soul──need over greed: is a better explanation of it. This Officer no longer daydreamed of a fantasy companion…he now lusted for one! And he would have her, “lock stock and barrel!” Moreover, his sights had been set to “zero”—hitting his target would be a synch—so he thought!
When he initialized his hunt, the Colonel was as stealthy and unassuming as most men would dream. The objects of his intentions never had a clue: at first glance. However, the clever and coy gentleman had this very uncanny and flirtatious manner about him──no woman would be any the wiser. He never made overt gestures towards the objects of his attraction. No, the quintessential player, within him, always taunted and vetted the lady which he wished to bring into his private circle, or bed for that matter: careful not to offend or unnerve her: talk about “sleight of hand”. The Light Colonel often made the possibilities of a “hook-up” seem as if it were the woman’s idea: knowing it was his all along! This attribute he wore like a cloak of amour upon him. Nonetheless, the women of whom he took full charge absolutely adored him for it: finding the attribute far too powerful to resist. He knew it, and ate it up! His pursuits seemed all too easy. The closing of the deal was fast and swift, however, it bored him to no end! Until one day in the spring of 2008—finally—he met his unadulterated match
One spring evening the Light Colonel met a woman that would become the quintessential ‘game changer” in his pursuit of a dating partner in crime, so to speak. In other words…’along came a spider”…Ms. Brown Recluse herself. The mother of a young gentleman he mentored: from time to time, and admired. She was a complete and utter magnetic mystery. He met her, once, by chance. However, how many of us know that in life—there is no such thing: especially when fate is involved? The unsuspecting beauty, though introduced to him by her son, spoke briefly…and paid him absolutely no attention after speaking. Oblivious, the lady Elle had no clue of the fire inside the LTC (Lieutenant Colonel) she very nonchalantly ignited! That Officer was going to get his girl—she was now a primary target of his deeply concealed desires. God help her…because she was, now, up against a force more powerful than nature—a military Officer with a mission and obsession!
AUTHOR: J. Z. LUCIANO'S - "S.G.L.S." BOOKS, BLOGS & WRITERS PEN 